How to survive...

Ahh yes the preparations continue.
Soo in interests of both practicality and wisdom I was recently recommended and then acquired a book which will undoubtedly stand me in good stead for my coming journey (and no it does not involve vampire porn!)
It is entitled "The worst case scenario survival handbook: Travel"
I highly recommend it for answers to all your travel questions! I have learned such amazing things! I can now without fear control a runaway camel, crash land a plane on water (no easy feat mind you) pass a bribe (which may be necessary in customs), jump from roof top to roof top, escape from a trunk of a car , climb out of a well treat a severed limb and of course find water on a deserted island... my personal favorite is how to foil a UFO abduction.. it involves such steps as controlling your thoughts, resisting mentally and as a last resort going for the EBE's eyes if they have any (EBE: extraterrestrial biological entity!)
The only real thing that was missing was how to stop the costuming sigh... but on the other hand I did learn such handy phrases in Spanish, French, German and Japanese for things like:
"Anata no beruto wo karite shiketsutai ni shiitemo?" iidesuka (May I use your belt as a tourniquet?)
"Pr que es turbia / verde/negra elagua? (Why is the water brown/green/black?)
"Argern Sie mich nicht!" ( Do not make angry!)
and of course..
" Vous ne me ferez jamais parler!" ( You will never make me talk!)
Hard to say if they are actually what hey say they are!!! But anyway there is your lesson for the day and just a glimpse of the intense preparation involved in this journey ;)